Fat, Fugly Wolfe
by Rum.on.the.Drums
Summary: Please don't kill me for the title! AU. A year after Speed's death, Horatio hires a new CSI who looks incredibly familiar to Eric. When Eric realizes who he is, will he be able to work things out? Ryan is diff. Be warned.Rated for lang and slashy goodness
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Hey all! Really sorry to those who were hoping for me to continue Hurting, but I'm having a bit of problems, so it will be on hold. This image of Ryan as an emoboy (You know the deal, floppy fringe, spikeyish back, eyeliner…) popped into my head and I decided to write a fic on it. If you do not like imagining Ryan looking different then what he usually does, then don't read. Hope you all enjoy! Reviews will make me continue both my fics!

10 years ago

"It's too bad we won't be seeing you next year geek."

"Yeah. But it's okay. Don't be too upset, we'll find some other kid to pick on!"

Ryan tried his best to remain calm as he strode as fast as he could out of his college campus. He hated it. So what if he was smart? The fat part he understood, but why condemn someone who's smart? There was no doubt he was glad to be leaving for another college. That way he could go on and live his life in peace, regardless of his IQ or appearance. He was just about to clear the final threshold. The foyer. But of course, he just had to bump into the one person he hated the most. Plus he was surrounded by his usual following of air headed bimbos.

"Oh my god! Ladies! You all had better run for cover! It's the fat, fugly Wolfe!" Eric Delko mock whispered loud enough for Ryan to hear. Ryan forced himself to walk calmly all the way out the gates, trying as hard as he could to ignore the shrieks of laughter of the girls. And the deep, amazing laughter from Eric Delko that never failed to give him butterflies.

Ryan sighed heavily. Why in all hells did he have to like Eric? Eric was older than him and way out of Ryan's league and he knew it. He also knew that with the way he looked, Eric would never feel the same. After all, Eric Delko was probably the hottest guy in school. And well, hot guys don't usually go with fat geeks. How much he would have wanted to be in Eric's circle of friends, to be able to laugh with him, eat with him, talk with him and even kiss him. It was a known fact that Eric was really bi, as were most of his friends.

He'd had enough of being laughed at and teased. He was going to change everything about himself. 'Someday, Eric Delko is going to look at me and beg to be with me.' Ryan promised himself.

Present day

Eric sulked. Horatio was hiring someone to take Speed's place. Sure. They'd had enough time to get over Speed's death. It had been over a year and he had pretty much gotten over it. But he still felt like he wasn't ready to meet the new guy. All Horatio had told them was that the new CSI was young. 'Probably some young punk who thinks he can fill the place of a highly experienced, top notch CSI.' Eric mused, as he made his way down to the conference room, where the team had agreed to meet the newbie.

As he neared the room, he caught sight of Calleigh's blonde, Horatio's red, Alexx's black and Tripp's…bald, or near bald.

"Hey…" Eric greeted, forcing himself to smile at his colleagues and boss. His greeting was returned and Calleigh motioned for him to sit at an empty spot beside her.

"Wow. I'm pretty excited to meet him. He should be here soon.." Eric didn't even have the chance to reply. Through the clear glass walls, he saw the receptionist- Claire? Clara?- leading a brunet to the door. All attention was turned to the young man coming in. He most certainly wasn't-actually was, since Eric thought him to be a punk- what everyone was expecting.

His warm brown hair was youthfully styled. His fringe was pulled to the left and reached to his jaw, but was layered so that it stayed out of his eyes. The back on the other hand was spiked back. His greenish hazel eyes were lined ever so finely- Eric was an expert at noticing it- with black. He wore black skinny jeans and a plain, fitting black shirt, both of which fit snugly to his slim body. And he finished it off with black sneakers.

To sum up, he made Eric's heart pump just that little bit faster.

"Hi. I'm Ryan. Ryan Wolfe."

There was silence for a while. Everyone was still taking in the sight of the man qualified to be a CSI. Horatio just smiled.

"Welcome to the team Mr. Wolfe." Horatio returned the greeting. "Horatio Caine and this is the team. This is Detective Frank Tripp, ME Alexx Woods, CSI Calleigh Duquesne and CSI Eric Delko." Horatio smirked, introducing the still stunned team.

Ryan smiled a sweet, shy smile that had- undoubtedly- all their hearts melting. "Nice to meet all of you…And uh, I hope I'll be able to do my job well with all your guidance."

Calleigh was the first to finally respond. "Pleasure to meet you too Ryan. I'm sure you'll do fine. If you need anything, we're always here." She smiled warmly, as she shook Ryan's hand.

Alexx returned a similar greeting, as did Frank, though the latter seemed to still be in shock.

Calleigh and Alexx both turned to look at Eric expectantly. There was something about that name and that voice that seemed so familiar, but he just couldn't put his finger on it. Giving up for the moment, Eric stretched out his hand and shook the long fingered hand offered to him.

"Eric Delko, I must admit I'm pretty surprised. Not quite what I expected."

"What were you expecting, honestly?" Those exotic eyes were fixed right on his and Eric couldn't believe that he, Casanova Eric, was struggling to put a sentence together. Those soft hands and delicate yet firm grip was also a distraction.

"Well, I was expecting some geeky kid, wearing glasses, maybe a bit overweight…" he was unconsciously taking his idea of a geek from somewhere in his mind, but he didn't really think much into exactly where.

"Would you have preferred that?" That youthful voice spoke of allure and triggered all remaining alarm bells in Eric's already screaming brain.

"Oh hell no. I like this."

"Well then, aren't you glad I decided to change."

Before Eric knew it, that warm grip was gone, and he was no longer under the spell of those hypnotizing eyes. But Eric couldn't help but ponder over what Ryan had meant. Sure, it could mean nothing, but somehow he knew it had something to do with him. But as most of his other thoughts on Ryan, they seemed to elude him.

Too caught up in his thoughts, Eric only snapped back to reality when Alexx snapped her fingers in front of his face. "Back to work. Calleigh's already volunteered to show Ryan around so I suppose you have to cover her side of analysis."

Eric groaned. This certainly wasn't a very good beginning to a day.

emoboyryanemoboyryanemoboyryan

Eric was close to tearing his hair out. They were going nowhere with the case. All the evidence they found led to one person who, during the time of the murder, had a solid alibi. So either the evidence was planted-which they found no proof of- or their prime suspect had the ability of mind control. Apparently a whole room of people had seen him at the party he said he was at. But that wasn't the only thing bothering Eric. He still couldn't put his finger as to why the new CSI seemed so familiar to him. At a party? No, he hadn't been with a male since he got out of college. College… No. He had 2 boyfriends during that time, both he remembered quite distinctly. So where had he seen the boy-yes, Eric thought he was much too young still- before? The results of his trace were nowhere near done so he decided to go get a coffee from the break room. It had been a long day of analysis for him and his back and eyes ached.

He felt his heart jolt as he caught sight of a pair of green-brown eyes watching him intently from inside the break room as he walked, all the way to the door. Their eyes never left each other and as Eric stepped through the door, he wondered why Ryan was sitting in the room alone when a bright chirp yanked his gaze from the brunet to a blonde.

"Hey Eric! I was just getting Ryan and myself a coffee. Wanna join us?" Calleigh asked, smiling sweetly as she handed a mug over to Ryan who smiled and said a soft thank you.

Eric felt his heart ache in a good way. Ryan sounded and looked incredibly innocent suddenly, holding the mug in both hands and blowing on it. It was a stark contrast to the man who had shook Eric's hand that morning. It made Eric fantasize. To have someone so hot, beautiful and intelligent who was also incredibly child-like and needed his protection and guidance. He jerked when Calleigh called his name.

"Sorry…Guess I'm really tired. Really long day, hard case." He tried to shift Calleigh's attention away from his short attention lapse. And thankfully it worked. She apologized and promised to help now that she was done showing Ryan the place and how they worked. This in turn brought Eric's thoughts back to Ryan-which wasn't a very good thing mind you. Eric went to get his coffee after making Calleigh promise to help. He couldn't help but listen in to their conversation as he poured himself his coffee.

"So, Ryan. No offense, but why the look? Not that it looks bad either." Calleigh giggled.

"It's just who I am you know. It's not like I'm breaking any rules, am I?" Ryan asked, feigning horror.

Calleigh laughed. "No you're not. It's refreshing. I was expecting you to be a real geek when Horatio told us you're the youngest CSI ever."

"I am? Wow.." Ryan said in a soft, somewhat shy tone which made Eric want to cuddle him.

"Were you always like this? I mean, emo just came 'in fashion' recently and I was just wandering if you were always like this." Eric was just about to pick up his mug and leave when Calleigh asked.

He was even more compelled to stay when Ryan hesitated before answering and he could almost feel the green-brown gaze on his back-he was pretending to look for something to nibble on.

"I. Before this I was a geek. As you'd predicted. I wasn't exactly this size either." He confessed with an embarrassed tone. Eric frowned. Ryan Wolfe used to be fat and a geek. And in that instant a taunt that he used when he was younger came rushing back into his mind. "Fat, fugly Wolfe."

Eric turned sharply to look at the boy who was still talking to Calleigh. Everything came rushing back. He couldn't believe that this Ryan Wolfe was the same as the one he used to know in high school. The one who he used to pick on with his gang. The same Ryan Wolfe, who was almost three times the size of the slight man in front of him, had bad hair and was a geek to boot. He must have been staring for sometime, because when he snapped back to Earth, both CSIs were staring at him. His eyes found Ryan's and for those few seconds, deep brown met intense hazel green. And Eric knew that Ryan knew that he remembered now. And god did Eric feel horrible for what he did.

Calleigh stood silently and left the room. They needed to settle something private and she knew it.

The sound of the door slamming shut jerked Eric from the staring battle they were having. He turned away and ran his hands over his face, sighing heavily. His thoughts were still racing. Why oh why did Ryan Wolfe get the job? Why did all this happen to him? Why couldn't it have happened to some of the other jerks who were also pushing Ryan around all those years ago? Why oh why did Ryan have to change so much? Why oh why was Ryan Wolfe so fucking different? Had he been the cause of Ryan's change? As he thought, something Marisol told him a long time ago when he was younger rang in his ears, "Always be careful what you do. Because karma is a bitch and it'll always come back to bite you in the ass." And as usual she was right. He had been horrible to Ryan and now he was getting his retribution.

Eric turned to look at the younger man and sighed again. Said man was leaning back in the chair, hunched slightly, eyes downcast and distant. Eric had no doubt that he was thinking back.

"Hey, Wolfe, look." Ryan turned to fixed him with an intense, unblinking gaze and Eric felt his words catch in his throat momentarily. "I… I'm really sorry. For what I did to you. How I treated you. I'm sorry. I really am."

The gaze didn't shift. He just blinked a few times before turning back to look down at his lap.

"Sure Delko. Sure."

"Look. I mean it. I'm sorry. I was an arse back then. But everyone was! I mean, you had to expect it! With the way you looked and acted!" Eric felt his anger rising. Here was trying his best to apologize nicely, there the kid was being sarcastic. A small voice in him told him to calm down and not say anymore, but he couldn't stop the anger. "Get over it Wolfe! I apologized! It's over, you've changed, I've changed. Just forget it happened. You're not the same person you used to be, and I'm happy for you!"

In that last sentence, a lot happened. The chair Ryan had been sitting on was lying on the floor. Ryan was standing right in front of Eric, so close their chests were almost touching. Eric stopped breathing as his eyes met Ryan's. Ryan may have been slightly shorter, but with all the emotions rolling off him, Eric felt overwhelmed. Had he said something wrong? Ryan's fringe had fallen out of place in his sudden flurry of movement and obscured his left eye slightly. Those soulful eyes shone with unshed tears of anger, hate and most of all-which surprised Eric- heartbreak. His breaths came in angry but somewhat controlled bursts.

"You don't know the first thing of what I went through. You have no idea how I felt. And how dare you judge me? You have no fucking idea what I was like before. So don't you dare tell me that I've changed. You haven't changed Delko. Not one bit. I can't believe I thought different."

And with that, Ryan was gone.

Eric was left in a daze. Inside he knew Ryan was right. He had no idea what Ryan was like before. But how dare Ryan say he hadn't changed? He had matured. Right? He works hard on his job. He socializes with everyone, not just his friends and pretty women. Right?

He wasn't sure how long he stood there, but after what felt like an eternity of thinking, he felt a hand on his arm. He turned and Calleigh was looking at him with a look of hesitant curiosity.

"Do you want to talk about it?" She asked. Eric shook his head.

"Thanks, but, I need to do this myself. With him. Just two of us."


	2. Chapter 2

I'm so sorry this took so long to come out with! I hope you like it!

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Calleigh couldn't believe the men that she worked with. A week on and they were still at each others throats. From what she knew, Eric was trying to apologize to Ryan about something in their past, but Ryan couldn't accept it. Well, actually things were vague. No one had any idea of what was going on and as usual, speculations were being created and naturally, when Eric caught wind of it and it just got him angrier.

There were so many versions as to why they hated each other, and Calleigh didn't want to believe any of them. Who would, with farfetched stories. Her favorite was they had been past lovers. Eric was an abusive boyfriend and Ryan because of that, Ryan started becoming emo. And then Eric couldn't stand being with someone who cut himself and so they went through a violent breakup in which Ryan almost died and Eric almost committed suicide. Who would believe that? She had no idea what people were thinking coming up with wild stories like that. Eric was a CSI. If he'd ever attempted to commit suicide it would have been stated in his file. But he was clean. And in fact so was Ryan. She supposed people just started the whole cutting thing because he always wore long sleeves and was an emoboy- a very cute emoboy.

But of course, it still remained a fact that they hated each other. Or did they? She could tell that Eric was just plain angry that Ryan wouldn't accept his apology and Ryan was just really hurt by something Eric had said. But as far as she could tell- and she was good at reading men, especially the obvious ones- they didn't hate each other. In fact, if she was reading him right, Ryan didn't even dislike Eric. He just was hurt. And Eric? Well Eric was always had too much of a temper for his own good.

"So much for dealing with it." Calleigh muttered to herself as she entered the lab Eric was running trace.

"Hey. How's trace coming along? Got anything?" She asked, coming to stand next to him.

"Yeah…Found some traces of antifreeze on the vic's shirt. Other than that it's clean. I don't really think it means anything, but _Wolfe_ thinks otherwise." Eric almost spat out Ryan's name.

"Eric, as much as I love you, I think you're being really stupid about it. Whatever happened, you have to talk it out with him." She tried to slowly talk him into it, but apparently slow talking doesn't work.

"Talk to him? I tried to Cal! He's the one who didn't accept it!" Eric snapped. And he regretted it instantly.

Calleigh's usually warm demeanor became cold and he knew he had been wrong. "Eric. You can be angry, but it's getting into the way of us doing our jobs well. And I can't let you do that."

"I've tried talking to him Cal. He doesn't want to talk to me."

"Well, have you tried being patient and taking things easy instead of yelling? When I left the both of you to talk the other day, it barely lasted 5 minutes. And I could hear your voice from down the corridor. I think that if you were really talking, it would have taken slightly longer than that."

"Cal, it's. I. I just don't know how to do it." Eric admitted softly and Calleigh softened again. She knew it wasn't easy for a person like Eric to admit he had made a mistake.

"Why not, you go back home today and think about it slowly. I want you two to sort it out. I'll wait for you to be ready…You can talk to me first before you talk to him, okay?"

Eric just nodded slowly after mulling over her advice for a while.

"Now, you'd better finish your job quick, or we'll never solve it." She smiled softly, patting him on the back, before turning and leaving the room. Eric just stared blankly through the glass panel in front of him for a while, his mind wandering to Ryan.

And just as he was about to look back down at the shirt, Ryan walked past the glass right in front of him.

He was wearing a pair of faded, skinny grey jeans, a red tee and a black blazer. Those hazel green eyes met his and Eric felt surprised to find that they weren't filled with hatred as he'd expected but something closer to yearning. A little bit of hurt, but there was definitely something entirely different. And as quickly as it had been made, it was severed. Ryan's gaze was again to the floor and he walked away, disappearing around the corner. Eric felt as though in that short instant, there had been a bond between them, and when Ryan looked away, the bond had been suddenly broken and Eric was left dangling, as though he had lost something special, something profound. It was as though the void in his heart was suddenly filled for a second, before it was wrenched away.

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Ryan sighed heavily as he entered his apartment. He took of his sneakers and put them in a corner neatly, followed by his blazer, which he folded over his arm and brought to his room. He hung it up and proceeded to place his wallet, keys, cell phone and gun on his dresser. As he turned, he came to face his reflection in the full length mirror.

He liked the way he looked. And he knew the effect it had on Delko. There was no doubt that Eric was physically attracted to him, he had established that on the first day he was there. So he had accomplished his mission. To make Eric want him. He hadn't really said how he wanted Eric to want him. So it why didn't he feel fully satisfied then. After all, he had even told Eric how he had felt. And then there was that small voice in his head that told him that wasn't really how he felt about Eric. At least not totally. Ryan 'urgh-ed' softly. Why did he have to like Eric too? He was jealous of the way Eric was with his friends. He was jealous of Natalia when he saw Eric flirting with her. He wanted to be the one Eric was talking naughty to. He wanted to be the one whose shoulder Eric would sling his arm over- he had seen Eric and Speed in one of the photos Calleigh had shown him. He wanted to love Eric.

Ryan carded his fingers through his hair which just flopped back down over his eyes. Sighing again, Ryan tried to dispel all thoughts of Eric. There was no way Eric would ever love him back. Eric hated him. And things would never work out between them.

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Eric flopped onto his couch, beer in hand. He took a swig and stared blankly at the TV screen. There was some movie on but he wasn't paying attention. He thought slowly- as Calleigh had advised him- about how he felt about Ryan. He ignored his anger at Ryan's refusal to accept his apology and slowly thought about what Ryan had said to him.

Ryan was right about one thing. Eric didn't have the right to tell him he had changed. He really didn't know who Ryan was before and Ryan was right in saying that he didn't have the right to judge him. Had Ryan always been like that on the inside? A man of contrasts, so soft spoken and yet at the same time brave and strong. Not to mention his natural ability to just draw people in with those soulful eyes.

Maybe Ryan was right about him. Maybe he hadn't changed. He was still an arse. He grit his teeth and exhaled slowly to dispel all his anger. Anger at the truth of Ryan's statement. He was right. He was still shallow, he only looked at beautiful people and the people below him were, well, below him. He didn't know the names of some of the lab techs that he worked with and yet he knew the name of the pretty receptionist who came in only on Thursdays. His life outside work was basically party, sleep with any- even men- beautiful person and drink. It was actually quite a miracle that he came this far in life. But maybe it was time he set his life straight. And he was going to start with Ryan. Whether Ryan liked it or not.

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Eric knew his mouth was slightly agape- yes, he knew- but he couldn't help it. Ryan looked hott. It was an amazingly hot day- hot by Miami standards- and Eric himself had had turn back to change into a short sleeved shirt after he had left the house. But Ryan, oh, Ryan was something else. He made Miami's heat seem like hell frozen over. He wore, as usual, a pair of skinny black jeans and a pair of Chuck Taylor's- which Eric realized were lime green today. But what really sent Eric's blood pumping was Ryan's tee-shirt.

It was lime green- to match his sneakers or the other way round- and had 30 Seconds to Mars printed along one side in black. And good god did it look good on him. It fit his slim torso, molding perfectly to the dip of his back. The dip that Eric wanted so badly to drag his tongue all the way down. That same dip ended just above the curve of his oh-so-smackable butt. It clung to his slim waist and the smooth, flat expanse of his chest and abdomen. And Eric swore that if it had been a cold day, he would have been able to see everything that thin shirt was supposed to hide- if you get what everything meant.

"Well isn't it a hot day!" Calleigh chirped, appearing beside him, her long blonde hair swept up into a bun at the back of her head, stray wisps framing he face.

Eric snapped his mouth shut, knowing that Calleigh was indeed teasing him, despite of the innocent tone she had used. He tore his eyes away from Ryan, who was talking to Alexx, and turned to face her nodding and wiping away the sweat that was beaded on his brow. He knew it was pointless trying to hide from Calleigh.

"Yeah it's hot. Very, very hot." Eric smirked and Calleigh giggled.

"I must say he looks exceptionally delightful today." Calleigh nodded thoughtfully.

"Yeah.."

"I'm glad you cleared yourself up…Imagine tearing that tee-shirt off him. I mean it looks like a candy wrapper, hiding a delectable little treat!" Calleigh teased before ducking away from his indignant glare. As she headed away, Eric turned his attention back to Ryan. He liked Ryan. He really, genuinely did. But not only for his looks. Eric also liked Ryan for who he was. He was hardworking, considerate, respectful yet confident, stubborn, strong yet gentle. He was everything Eric thought would be his perfect soul mate. And he was beautiful in every single way. Eric sighed. He hadn't realized just how strongly he felt for Ryan. Shaking himself, Eric turned to back to see where Ryan had gone. He caught sight of the lime green t-shirt disappearing into the locker room. He'd talk to Ryan later, after their shifts were over.

Eric went about the day, getting more and more nervous about talking to Ryan. How would he approach him? Should he apologize first? Eric sighed. Looking up from the microscope, he scanned the lab for Ryan before realizing that Ryan was out on a case with Horatio. His mind wandered again, somehow Ryan and his t-shirt appearing almost instantly in his mind's eye. Ryan on his back, spread out for Eric's taking, his lust darkened green eyes challenging at the same time inviting Eric. Eric imagined slowly peeling off that stunning shirt to reveal an even more stunning body. Smooth, pale skin pulled taut over lean muscles, not an inch of fat to be found. Eric found himself stopping halfway to run his hands over that flat expanse of skin, leaning down to tease Ryan's bellybutton. Ryan's soft, lustful groans seemed to echo in his ears, pushing him to continue. He pulled up, off of Ryan and gazed in admiration. And Eric was right. The tee did nothing to hide the hardened points of Ryan's nipples. Eric smirked and reached out to pull the offending garment off when he was torn out of his daze when Calleigh burst into the trace lab, giggling.

"Your shifts over. And Ryan and H are back. They got their perp, he was at the harbor when they figured it out. I heard he tried to swim away, apparently he was a professional diver complete with all the gear he needs to get away.."

Eric nodded at that, blushing. Calleigh knew he was thinking about something other than his evidence, judging by her all knowing giggle. She left and so did he soon after. He had a –very hot and sexy- Wolfe to catch. Eric shook himself again and tried to forget all the thoughts he was having about Ryan and Calleigh's candy wrapper remark. He forced himself to more proper thoughts.

As he walked down the hall to the locker rooms, where he hoped Ryan might be, Eric thought about Ryan and Horatio's work. They must've made a pretty good team, to be able to track down and catch their suspect in one day. He was trying to figure out they figured their case when he walked into the room. The sight he was greeted by almost made him choke. Sure, Calleigh had told him they caught the suspect at the harbor. But she never told him how.

Ryan was still in his lime green tee. But. He was drenched. Barefoot. And only clad in a pair of boxer briefs waist down. Both stared at each other in shock until Eric spun away, apologizing profusely. He desperately tried to forget the image of Ryan's pale, pale legs and his wet, wet unders. After a few seconds apology came and Eric felt it was his sign of saying it's okay to turn around. He hesitantly looked up at the younger man who had wrapped a green towel around his waist.

"I'm sorry…I should've been more careful about changing. In the open." Ryan admitted, his cheeks flushed red. If it hadn't been for a bruised cut on Ryan's left cheek, Eric would have thought he looked adorable.

"What the hell happened to your cheek? And why are you drenched."

For a second, Ryan made eye contact with him, a puzzled look making him look like an abused puppy being offered a home. "I jumped in after the suspect. There was a bit of a scuffle and he whacked me with something. A few other cops jumped in and we managed to get him."

"You alright?" Eric asked, hoping he sounded as concerned as he felt. The bruise looked painful.

"Since when did you care?" Ryan muttered softly.

Instantly, Eric felt his ego flare and his blood boil. But they vanished as soon as he recognized Ryan's tone. It wasn't one of mocking. He sounded more hurt. Almost sad. He heard Calleigh's voice in his head telling him to calm down and he took a slow breath.

"Look. Wolfe. We need to talk." Eric suggested, schooling his voice to that of neutrality. Green found brown and for a while all he did was study Eric. Eric remained patient, knowing Ryan was trying to figure out his intentions.

"Just…don't call me Wolfe. I prefer Ryan." Ryan asked softly, as he sat down on one of the benches.

Eric led out the breath he was holding quietly and moved to sit across Ryan, on another bench. And he remembered that Ryan was wet.

"Don't you wanna change into something dry first?"

"I just wanna get this over and done with, okay? I guess I need this talk as much as you do."

A/n: I realize how horrible (understatement) I am with regular posting, so I won't promise anything. I'll try my best to write consistently as long as my readers continue to read and review. Thank you all for being so patient with me!


	3. Chapter 3

A/n: Here you go! I hope you all enjoy! Thank you especially to Dark Angel Kira! Thank you so much for so doggedly following me! It means so much to me! Hmmm. This is a short chapter, but I hope you all like it. WARNING! THIS CHAPTER IS NC-17! Please be careful!

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Their knees were almost brushing, and in the close proximity, Eric could smell the salt water that was slowly drying off of Ryan. Whether he had done it consciously or not, Eric sighed when Ryan drew his legs back under the bench. Away from Eric's. Taking a deep breath, Eric looked up into Ryan's eyes- more like one eye, the other hidden behind the bangs plastered to his face- and started.

"Just hear me out for a bit okay?" Eric paused and drew a deep breath. As much as this was a bruise to his ego, he knew he was doing the right thing. "I've been thinking. And. I. I want to apologize for the way I've been treating you. And especially the way that I treated you before. I had and I have no right to judge you. You deserve a lot better. You're a good guy, and I'm not saying this to flatter you," Eric added hastily when he caught Ryan's unsure expression. "You're also right. Very, very right about me. I'm still as shallow as I was before, in high school. And just as immature. I'm really truly sorry for the way you were treated before. I'm sorry. I really truly am." Eric finished.

There was a pregnant pause. Eric started to panic. What if Ryan didn't accept? What if he thought Eric was just saying it? Eric looked up just in time to see Ryan open his mouth.

"I'm sorry too. I mean, I'm sorry if I carried this too far. I.. Thank you I guess. Thank you." Ryan said, nodding his head slowly.

Eric deflated in relief and he knew he was physically doing it as well. He broke into a shakey smile when he looked up to see Ryan's amused- though still slightly unsure- smiled at his slumping. "I never thought this bothered you that much." Ryan stated, his voice soft, almost as though he was afraid people would hear them.

"I didn't think so either." Eric admitted.

There was an awkward silence for a while until Ryan sneezed involuntarily. Eric immediately stood and went to his locker, opening it to get his towel. He draped the soft fluffy white terry cloth over Ryan's hunched shoulders. "You okay? Coming down with something?"

Ryan shook his head. "Nah…Just cold I guess..It's okay.." Ryan was lifting the towel off his shoulders, but Eric grabbed it from him and wrapped it snugly around Ryan's hunched shoulders. "All the more you're gonna need that…"

Ryan stood. The towel that he had wrapped around his waist fluttered softly to the floor. Neither of them had realized the knot Ryan had tied earlier had come undone- the sneaky little bastard. Yet again, Eric received the privilege of seeing Ryan's firm ass, outlined even more by the flimsy material of his wet boxer briefs. The boy blushed furiously and bent down to pick up the fallen towel. Eric had to bite his lip to stop himself from groaning at the sight of Ryan's firm ass and long legs. Ryan turned to face Eric, his cheeks flushed, and Eric could tell he was going to apologize but the only sound that came out of his mouth was a gasp. Eric wasn't really sure what look he had on his face that made Ryan gasp like that, but he had to guess it was lust. Pure, unadulterated, animalistic lust. Ryan's succulent lips were parted slightly, almost as if begging Eric to have a go at them. And he did. He couldn't stop himself.

His lips descended on Ryan's and both of them reacted to each other on instinct. Chests were pressed roughly against each other, teeth clicked and tongues dueled. Ryan tasted like exotic, like sharp spices blended with sweet vanilla yet with the bitterness of dark chocolate. And Eric couldn't get enough of that taste. They wrenched apart for about a second to catch their breaths, before Eric pressed in again, claiming Ryan's lips as his own. He slowly guided Ryan back wards, into the shower areas, where he knew they wouldn't be disturbed for a while.

He stopped moving when he knew Ryan was trapped between him and the wall and the smaller man wouldn't be able to escape. Their eyes met and for a brief second Eric thought he saw uncertainty, he thought he saw the Ryan that wasn't blinded by lust. But a flash later, it was gone. In it's place were the most beautiful green eyes, darkened by lust and need. Eric felt his ego roar. 'He wanted me after all…' Eric thought to himself, smirking again. His need forced him not to waist time with too much pointless foreplay. He slid both hands under the fabric of Ryan's shirt and started to explore aggressively. He ran his hands up the slight curve of Ryan's waist and up to his nipples. Ryan made the most beautiful sound Eric had ever heard when he flicked said hardened nubs. He none too gently rubbed his palms all over Ryan's chest, making the younger man moan and squirm most delightfully. He slipped his hands around to reach Ryan's back, where he slid both palms down the dip of his spin all the way to the beginning of the swell of his pert bottom.

Impatience getting the better of him, Eric tugged off Ryan's wet tee and blindly threw it behind himself, hoping it would land on the top of the stall door- though it probably didn't. He growled deep in his throat appreciatively at the sight before him. Ryan was just as beautiful as he had imagined, probably even more so. "Out of these." Eric purred out, one of his hands pulling at Ryan's unders. Ryan obeyed instantly and Eric smirked again. Apparently he wasn't the only impatient one not in the mood for any teasing.

For a while, all Eric did was drink in the sight of Ryan, fully naked. The younger man was perfect in Eric's eyes. He would have taken more time to describe Ryan, but his hard on in his pants said no. It was time to get down to business. And judging from the Ryan's own hard on, he was ready too.

Eric unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans as fast as he could. He spun Ryan around and slammed the slighter man against the tiles. Ryan moaned in pain and pleasure. The natural alpha in Eric howled happily. Ryan was a natural sub, just as he had hoped. Eric's eyes widened when they landed on a black and green tattoo that ran all the way from Ryan's jutting hip bone, across his lower back, to the other jutting hipbone. It consisted of two swirling and stabbing lines, one lime green the other black. They designed to intertwine from one end to the other, and Eric thought it was the most beautiful tattoo he had ever laid eyes on. The two colours set off each other and caused Ryan's skin to look even paler. "Never thought you to be the kind to get a tattoo…" Eric purred into Ryan's ear.

Ryan could only groan as Eric traced over the black line, from one end to the other then the green line back.

"I can't wait anymore. Want you so bad. You have no idea." Eric growled, his teeth closing around the shell of Ryan's ear. He bit down and reveled in Ryan's soft, pained hiss. Through clenched teeth Ryan gasped out, "Just fucking do it then, or else I'll do it myself."

Eric relinquished his hold on Ryan's ear and trailed his lips down to Ryan's shoulder. "Feisty. I like that."

Eric ran his hands over Ryan's cock, gathering whatever precum he could get. He didn't carry lube with him everywhere unfortunately. This would just have to do. He smeared what he had collected over his own cock and Ryan's entrance which was suspiciously tight.

"I'm gonna fuck you hard and fast boy." Eric growled, before closing lips over Ryan's shoulder. Before Ryan could say anything, Eric thrust in, breaching his smaller body. Ryan gasped and thrashed, physically not ready for such a large intrusion. But Eric knew Ryan wanted it just as badly as he did, so he waited for the squirming and gasping to stop. And when it did, Eric started to pump into him, forcing the rest of his cock in and drawing out again and again. Eric closed a hand over Ryan's mouth, the boy's moans loud from pain, then louder from pain laced pleasure. Soon Ryan joined Eric's frantic bucking. Eric lifted his free hand and ran his fingers through Ryan's longish hair, before yanking his head back, exposing the milky white throat.

Ryan's hands were pressed hard against the freezing cold tiles, which were a sharp contrast to Eric's heat behind him. Eric licked a long strip up from Ryan's shoulder to his throat, right below his Adam's apple. They were both close, their rutting verging on violent. Eric poised his teeth over Ryan's skin and bit down just as they both came in unison.

Ryan was biting into Eric's hand to stifle the scream his orgasm caused and it hurt bad, but Eric was too busy leaving his mark to think about that. He bit and sucked hard on the skin, aiming for at least a drop of blood. And he did. He stopped once he'd achieved that. And the moment he released Ryan's throat, Ryan slumped into his chest knees buckling after the intense session. For a while, they remained like that. Chests heaving, Eric holding Ryan upright, between himself and the wall. Everything was perfect. Until they both started to realize just how awkward the situation was. They had just patched up things and they had sex?

Ryan automatically pushed Eric away and stumbled. He was sore all over, especially at certain parts. He was especially sore there. In fact, it wasn't sore, it hurt bad. Ryan had failed to mention to Eric he was still a virgin during the lust induced sex. Ryan limped away from Eric just as Eric tried to reach out for him.

Eric heard the water in the shower stall next to the one they had sex in start to run and he knew he wasn't the only one who felt awkward. Eric cleaned himself and the stall up and headed out when he heard the water go off. He needed to check on Ryan. It was the very least he could do. Ryan was already gingerly putting on his underwear when Eric came out. Again, Eric couldn't help but appreciate Ryan's beauty. He winced at the angry red bruise on Ryan's throat.

"Man.. I'm so sorry.. Are you like. Umm. Hurt?"

Eric winced internally at how stupid he sounded. Real smooth Eric, real smooth.

Ryan nodded slightly but Eric could tell he didn't want any help. He just continued getting dressed.

"Look.. I'm clean just in case you're worried. And. Umm. I'm sorry?"

Ryan just nodded.

"I'm sorry if I hurt you. I mean. Uh. I. Uh. Sorry."

Again Ryan nodded. He was fully dresses and was styling his damp hair. Eric could only watch. Neither of them knew what to say. 'Who would? We make up and have sex after hating each other for years?' Eric thought to himself. Taking a deep breath, Eric looks at Ryan.

"If you need help, anything, just call me. You have my number right?" Ryan nodded.

"Yeah. I guess. I'll see you. At. Work." Eric couldn't help but get the impression that as awkward as Ryan was feeling, he wasn't denying the fact that he was attracted to Eric the way Eric was attracted to him. That was a good thing right?

Eric nodded. "Yeah.. I'll see you…" They both needed some time to think. They were grown men anyway, not high school kids. So Eric would give Ryan that. He needed it too.

They both said goodbye and shared and awkward look before Ryan headed out.

Eric leaned his head against his locker and after a few long minutes, he grinned. He liked where this relationship was going.

A/N: I can't believe I did that. Haha. Anyway. I'm sorry if there are typos are whatnots. And I'm sorry if the ending seems weird! I'm typing this at 2 in the morning where I am and studying for a test tomorrow, so I'm sorry if it's bad! I'll try get more up asap. Please tell me what you think of this! I just went along with what felt…right? Please review! Reviews make me write faster! And ideas on where you want this to go will be interesting!


	4. Chapter 4

I am so sorry this took so long to get up. Promotional exams and hari raya got in the way, so I totally had no time to touch my stories. Though I was itching to write. So many fucking ideas which are now all gone. Anyway. I don't quite know where this is going go, so reviews with thoughts and ideas would be nice. I'm so so sorry once again. I'll try and update better now that life isn't being all that bad. I hope.

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Eric sorely regrets letting his body and especially his cock do the thinking. Ryan had been avoiding him like the plague ever since their rendezvous in the showers. The younger man would duck into a different hallway or room whenever he saw Eric the past half a day.

Eric figured he couldn't blame the guy. He felt awkward too. Who the hell had wild, animal sex with a person they hated in high school right after they were done talking?

Eric ran a hand through his hair and sighed heavily when he caught sight of Ryan talking to Horatio outside the break room. Ryan was dressed in –as usual- form fitting clothes. But it was something different this time. And Eric –as usual- liked what he saw. A black, collared, military themed shirt and a blood red skinny tie adorned Ryan's lithe upper half. But his bottoms were a drastic change. Instead of his usual skinny jeans –which Eric had noted Ryan had a vast array of- Ryan wore a pair of black cargo pants made of light cotton. The whole ensemble looked good – Eric would never deny that- but the pants were telling him something. That and the way Ryan walked.

Eric felt guilt stab him as he watched Ryan limp away as subtle-y as possible.

Eric wanted to do something about it, but he just didn't know what. What could he do anyway? It was still too awkward for him to go up to Ryan and say 'Hey, I'm sorry I was too rough last night. You want me to take you to a doctor or something?'

Eric sighed and shook his head. He would worry about that later. He had a kidnapping to solve first. But he swore he would deal with it the second he was done.

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Eric sighed in frustration for the umpteenth time that day. He still had no idea what to say to Ryan. Really! He wanted to do something but he didn't know how to. And Ryan was still avoiding him as though he would die if he came into contact with Eric. So technically it wasn't his fault!

No! That was the sort of thinking that go him in Ryan's bad books in the first place. They just cleared things up and Eric didn't want Ryan coming back to the conclusion that he was a jerk. They had been avoiding each other the last two days. That was more than enough. He had to work things out. Or else. He may never have a chance with one Ryan Wolfe.

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Calleigh was fuming. Ryan had gone from quietly content, to confused, to upset, to hurt and finally to angry over the course of the past 5 days. Eric, on the other hand, had been nothing but a cranky dolt. Really! So much for working things out!

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Ryan watched his sneaker covered feet take step after step, his jaw clenched and his lips in a slight pout. He thought they had finally cleared things out between them, but no! Eric was doing it just to get in his pants. _Fucker didn't change at all_ Ryan growled unconsciously. He was still sore, but he felt good enough to wear skinny jeans again. His felt his anger burn as he thought of Eric's attitude. The way he would duck away whenever he saw Ryan, or the way he could never look him in the eye. Or the way he would avoid Ryan whenever they had to work a case together. Sure he had done it first, but he stopped after the first day. It was over a week now and Eric was still behaving as like a jerk.

He felt the anger burn, but deep inside, he felt his heart ache. He had believed it. He had believed that him and Eric could actually work things out and be friends. He had believed that Eric actually wanted him. He believed that maybe Eric wanted more than just a friend in Ryan

He continued walking down to the morgue. Alexx had paged, he had no idea why. He was working a case and it was more or less done, but he wasn't on the case Alexx was working on. The moment the lift doors opened, he was face to face with Alexx.

"Oh baby… Are you okay?" Alexx asked as she pulled Ryan out of the lift and into a hug. Ryan frowned, confused, but he felt his angry façade cracking slightly in Alexx's warm hold. He gently extracted himself from his embrace and smiled as un-fake-ly as he could.

"I'm okay! What's this all about?" He smiled, feigning amused confusion. He hoped against hoped that Alexx would buy his lie.

"Oh don't you lie to me young man. Now we're going to talk and you're gonna tell me just what is going on with you and Eric."

Ryan sighed to himself. There was no way he could get out of thus now. Alexx was using her 'stern mother' tone.

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Alexx sat Ryan down on the morgue table. She turned back to close the door so that they could have some privacy. When she turned back, she smiled to herself. Ryan was swinging his legs back and forth, careful not to hit his heels against the morgue table. He was hunched over slightly and he was unconsciously giving his infamous puppy dog eyes to his lap. Really, how could any mother reject such a boy?

She placed herself in front of Ryan and placed a hand over his clasped hands resting on his lap.

"First things first. Are you hurt sweetheart?" She asked as gently as she could, brushing Ryan's bangs out of his eyes. She felt a smile tug at the corners of her lips when Ryan flushed a bright pink.

"No…Not really…At least not anymore." Alexx smiled. Ryan had finally realized it was pointless to lie to Alexx.

"Are you sure?" She asked again, to which Ryan nodded.

"Now, what's going on between you and Eric? I thought Calleigh said you two were going to work things out." Alexx gently asked, taking hold of Ryan's hands- they were starting to tug and twist the hem of his shirt.

"Nothing's going on. I'm mad at him, he's acting like a jerk. It's the usual isn't it?" Ryan burst out, his anger at Eric coming out stronger than he had wanted it to. He also tugged his hands out of her hold.

And he instantly regretted it. Apparently Alexx could see straight through his façade. Her eyes hardened and she held his chin in a firm yet non-abusive grip, forcing him to look into her dark eyes. He could see slight anger there, but mostly it was concern. And like he said before, he regretted it. His anger evaporated away when she said, "Baby, don't do this to yourself."

"I don't know. Oh God Alexx, I don't know! I'm mad at him but it… I still feel as though… I man yeah I'm angry, I'm pissed! But, I still…" He couldn't bring himself to say it. He would not admit that he wanted- no, needed- Eric. He couldn't do it.

"Say it." Alexx ordered, her voice smooth and steady. Her hand shifted to rest on his cheek. He peered out from under his bangs and looked at her.

He couldn't say it, why couldn't she understand that? If he did it would mean he needed Eric, and he did not want to need Eric.

"Say it baby. Just get it out."

Ryan shook his head, trying to tear himself away from her concern, but her hand only found his chin again and turned him to look at her.

"Say it Ryan."

"I don't want to."

"If you don't want to admit it, then why are you so upset? Say it Ryan. You know you can't run from it forever."

Ryan breathed slowly. Alexx was right. She was right.

"I still feel so hurt. Upset. That he apologized, said we would be friends, just to have sex with me. And then he just ignores me."

He hadn't realized it, but he had taken time to get those four sentences out. And he hadn't realized the lone tear that had slipped down his cheek and dripped onto his clenched hands.

"Oh baby." Alexx murmured, pulling him into a hug. And everything just slipped out of him. He let everything out, trying to be strong in front of everybody on the first day on the job, to Eric hurting him. He cried into Alexx's shoulder silently. He just felt too tired and emotionally drained to sob or bawl or even sniffle. He just sat there in her arms and the tears slipped out.

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I know this is a short chapter, and I am so sorry! I'm still trying to figure out where to take things from here, so I hope you understand. I'm not sure how this chapter is, coz I'm kinda doing this at a few am in the morning and. yes. I have no idea what I am typing. I hope you like it nonetheless. More reviews and ideas would be nice.. And virtual cookies. : )


	5. Chapter 5

Hello! Again I tried to get this out as soon as I could. I'm glad I have people who love my story! It really really makes me feel a lot better, so thank you to all my faithful readers and reviewers. It really means beyond a lot for me. So. I got like one idea (which as amazingly cliché as it is –you are so right kira- I didn't think of it). And so, since I cant think of anything better, I'll use it!

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Eric's heart pounded. His hand was still outstretched, clenched into a fist, ready to knock on the morgue doors that were ever so slightly ajar. But he heard it.

He wasn't sure how long they had been talking before he came around, but he heard it.

_I still feel so hurt. Upset. That he apologized, said we would be friends, just to have sex with me. Then he ignores me."_

Eric just stared at the metal doors, his mind still processing what Ryan ad said. Did Ryan really think that? Oh god how on Earth was he going to fix it? That was, if Alexx didn't kill him before he managed to talk to Ryan.

But how was he going to do it? He couldn't tell Ryan he was eavesdropping. Ryan would just get mortified and even angrier. But how would he bring it up to him if otherwise?

Eric leaned closer and listened. They seemed to be awfully quiet inside. Until he heard Alexx's soft cooing. The tone that she usually reserved for her kids and one other person, Speed.

Had he really hurt Ryan that badly to prompt Alexx to use that tone?

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Alexx rubbed soothing circles in Ryan's back as she watched Eric walk away through the screen next to the door. She wasn't sure exactly how much Eric had heard- she only saw him when she hugged Ryan- but she was pretty confident Eric would do something about it. At least she hoped he would. Unless he was really the animal she didn't want to believe he was.

Alexx waited patiently as Ryan's tears gradually stopped coming and she felt the boy start to gently pull away from her. She released him- although she was reluctant. She smiled warmly at him as his large, hazel- and might she add, utterly adorable and irresistible- eyes met hers. He lifted his arm and wiped away the remnant tears before smiling slightly at her. Her smile broadened, "I think I have some eyeliner in my bag." and grinned as Ryan turned a brilliant shade of red.

They spent the next 10 minutes discussing eyeliners and their methods of application, and then Alexx watched as Ryan started to apply a thin layer around his eyes. By the time they were done giggling and talking, Ryan was in a much better mood, his boyish smile back in its place.

"Ahh… I have to get back to work…" Ryan sighed softly before pulling Alexx into a hug.

"Thanks Alexx. I guess I needed to talk it out a bit."

"Damn right there sweetheart. Now promise me that if you're ever upset again, or if anyone hurts you or if you just need someone to talk to, you come straight to me, okay?"

Ryan smiled and nodded. "Of course. Who else could I go to?"

She let him go and walked him back to the elevators.

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Eric steeled himself and followed Ryan as the younger CSI walked out to the car park. It was now or never. If he stalled any longer he probably wouldn't have the guts to talk to Ryan ever again. Yes. The great Eric Delko was quite the coward when it came to apologizing and talking things out.

Taking a deep breath, Eric covered the last few feet between himself and Ryan.

"Hey…Ryan…"

"What Eric?"

Eric stopped. Ohshitohshitohshitohshitohshit. Ryan was using the tired tone on him. Eric took another deep breath again.

"I just wanna say I'm sorry, okay? I never meant for you to get that message. I never meant for you to be just a fuck to me. I really honestly want us to be friends. I didn't meant to ignore you after what happened that day, but it was really because I didn't know what to do. Because I don't think people generally have sex with their worst enemy from high school after you clear things up with them. So. I just wanted to tell you I'm so terribly sorry. I just cowarded out of talking to you all the time and so yeah. I'm really sorry. It's up to you if you want to forgive. I just want you to know I'm sorry."

Eric exhaled heavily. And turned and walk away. At least his conscience wouldn't be bothering him anymore. If Ryan wouldn't accept his apology, then they would simply be colleagues at work. But if he didn't, then maybe, just maybe they could be friends.

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Eric tried to keep his mind of Ryan over the weekend. Over what Ryan would do. Would Ryan accept his apology?

As much as he said he wouldn't mind Ryan not forgiving him, he really hoped Ryan would be his friend. Or maybe more.

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Eric walked into the locker room and felt his heart jump into his mouth when he saw Ryan. Said boy looked up and their eyes met. There was a second's pause- though it seemed like much, much longer to Eric- before the hazel green eyes warmed. "Good morning." came Ryan's soft greeting, accompanied by a sweet smile.

Eric broke into a grin and returned the greeting.

So? I know it's short, but this part of the series is over! If people review enough I'll write the continuation, but it may take a while coz I already have another plot idea! But yes. Thank you to all who have followed this story from start to finish. It really makes writing worthwhile and it really makes my life a lot brighter to know that there are people who enjoy my stories! Do review and I shall continue to write! LoVeS!


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